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Leno Gives His Take on Government Shutdown

'President Obama is down to one teleprompter, that's how bad it is'

NBC's Jay Leno gave his take on the government shutdown during his opening monologue on Wednesday evening:

JAY LENO: Oh, you can see the effects of the shutdown all over town, it's terrible. President Obama now down to just one teleprompter. That's how so bad it is. It is so bad the animals at the National Zoo are being auctioned off to Hometown Buffet. That's how bad it is. It is so bad, Iran will be forced to negotiate with Dennis Rodman. that's how bad it is. I'll tell you, it's hurting everybody, Rick. It's hurting everybody. in fact, Nancy Pelosi and John Kerry are being forced to use the same botox needle. That's how bad it is. At the TSA, they're making passengers fondle and grope themselves. That's how bad. I tell you, it's so bad, a lot of government workers are watching reruns of Breaking Bad just to get the meth recipes. That's how bad it is. It is so bad, John Boehner can't afford tanning cream any more, he's just rubbing his face with Cheetos dust. that's how bad it is. It is so bad, Harry Reid has been forced to change his own embalming fluid. that's how bad it is. You know, something, Harry Reid held a press conference today where he talked about his phone call with John Boehner. Let me show you the first part of it, here.

HARRY REID: I just a finished the telephonic conversation with Speaker Boehner.

LENO: A telephonic conversation. I'm surprised he doesn't go like this, hello, Gladys? Give me murray hill 5, 1919. Hello? A telephonic? I had a twitterphonic conversation also with him. You know, when two members of Congress talk to each other, it's not telephonic, it's moronic. Okay. That's totally different. Totally different thing. Let me ask you something. how many of you are at the point where you think we should just fire all these useless politicians?

Published under: Government Shutdown