New Substandard Podcast Tackles ‘Arrival,’ Thanksgiving, Rest Stops

turkey

I don’t want to oversell it guys, but this is the best Weekly Substandard podcast yet. We discussed Arrival and alien invasion movies, Thanksgiving dishes, and, um, highway rest stops. (What is it with Jersey kids and their obsession with rest stops? I don’t get it.)

The Weekly Substandard now has its own iTunes location: you can download this week’s episode as well as previous episodes right here. Subscribe today! Or listen below. Or don’t do either, whatever. You probably have better things to listen to.

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Scenes From a Reaction

Donald Trump

Jon, 38, enters a Nebraska Starbucks he had just last year sworn to boycott because its owner asked patrons not to carry firearms inside. Two weeks ago, Jon was complaining about triggers and safe spaces. Today, he wants to buy a latte (venti, triple, no foam) and demand that the woman at the counter (Elisha, 27, who, unbeknownst to Jon, voted GOP for the third straight cycle) write “Trump” on the cup in the hopes that she will refuse him service and he can claim a grievance against her and the company writ large. He hopes, like all good Americans, to “go viral.”

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95 Theses on The Beatles

AP

Out of love for the truth and from desire to elucidate it, Mr. Matthew Walther, high-school dropout, and associate editor at Rosslyn, intends to defend the following statements and to dispute on them in that place. Therefore he asks that those who cannot be present and dispute with him orally shall do so in their absence via Twitter. In the name of &c. &c. &c.

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NFL Week 11 Picks, With Trump Voter Paris Hilton

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Some people love Paris Hilton but a lot more people hate her.

I had no strong feelings on the hotel heiress before yesterday when I heard that she told some Australian talk show hosts that she voted for Donald Trump.

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The Trump Counterrevolution in Military Affairs

AP

After eight years of an Obama Pentagon, certain defense issues were meant to be settled, finished, over, dead—shot by a firing squad composed of History and Progress and rolled without ceremony into shallow graves. The list included the integration of women into combat jobs, the normalization of transgender troops, and the importance of green energy to the military. The imposition of draft registration on women, though not yet accomplished, was thought to be all but inevitable.

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NFL Week 10 Picks—and I’ve Made Them Great Again

AP

I didn’t publish picks the past two weeks—I was busy and figured the country was too focused on making America great again to even care about the NFL.

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Hillary Clinton in the Wilderness

wilderness

In a hushed clearing far from Chappaqua, the Earth was alive with movement.

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In Which I Crow About Being Right About Trump For at Least a Thousand Words

trump

I have been saying since last December that Donald Trump would be the next president of the United States. Endless amounts of scorn have been heaped on me by centrist liberals whose credulous belief in the support-exorcising power of anecdotes about Trump’s racism and sexism and their own ability to be offended is rivaled only …

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DC v. Marvel: Who Ya Got?

I mean, honestly, Man of Steel is so much better

In the latest episode of the Weekly Substandard, Vic, JVL, and myself discussed the hot-button issue dividing the nation, the thing tearing families apart coast to coast, the argument-inducing chasm that seems unbridgeable.

That’s right, we argued Marvel vs. DC. Whose movies do you prefer? Which comics did you grow up reading? Just how big a nerd ARE you anyway?

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Final Election Predictions

AP

Barring something nuts—extended, Florida-style recounts; faithless electors; a Red Dawn-type invasion by Putin-backed Cuban forces hoping to install their preferred candidate into the Casa Blanca—tomorrow will be, blessedly, the final day of the worst election ever. The worst until the next one, anyway, when Democratic pundits and their candidates start saying things like “Well, sure, we said Trump was an unhinged menace who is LITERALLY HITLER, but even that crazy nutjob didn’t want to [enact some totally reasonable policy that we are demonizing for political gain in order to agitate our idiot voters into going to the polls].”

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PICTURES: Trump Is History’s Greatest Man

"I pray thee, wish not one man more" / Lifezette

A lot of people had thoughts about last Wednesday’s column by Laura Ingraham, which used the St. Crispin’s Day Speech from Henry V to valorize the Trump campaign and denigrate its conservative opponents as cowards. Even more insightful than the actual column was the artwork accompanying it: Donald Trump’s thoughtful face superimposed onto the body of …

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The Clintons Are Terrible, But Julian Assange Is No Hero

AP

Julian Assange has thrust himself and his organization, WikiLeaks, into the United States presidential election by releasing emails hacked from the Clinton campaign and the Democratic National Committee.

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The 7 Best Non-Craft American Beers

Hell, basically / Flickr Creative Commons

There is almost nothing worse than walking into a bar and seeing 50 different “craft” beers, all of them with names like “Soft Honey Drop Lager” and “Musty Beard Odor Porter” and “Woke as F— Pale Ale” and “I Am Literally Your Moral Superior IPA,” staring at you from an endless series of decorated draft towers and novelty faucet handles.

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Why You Should Be Concerned About ISIS in Pakistan

Twitter page of Jahán Balóc

ISIS evidently has a presence in Pakistan–and one significant enough that established regional terror groups are willing to work with it. Here’s the greatest threat that an ISIS presence in Pakistan poses, and it’s one that policymakers should plan for now: the potential escalations that could follow a major terrorist attack on India, Pakistan’s arch-foe. The aftermath of such an assault could have global consequences if both countries are not careful.

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The Sonny Bunch Endorsement: A Gondola From Rosslyn to Georgetown

You've got to be fking kidding me.

Apparently, serious consideration is being given to building a gondola—you know, like, straight out of the Alps—between Rossyln, Va., and Georgetown, the ritzy Washington, D.C., neighborhood.

Seriously.

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