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USA to Humble Japan Again in Giant Robot Combat

July 6, 2015

Last night, the United States proved it was dominant even in soccer by defeating Japan 5-2 in the championship game of the Women’s World Cup.

In 2016, the United States will dominate Japan again in a giant robot duel.

The American company MegaBots, Inc., challenged a Japanese company, Suidobashi Heavy Industries, to a robot battle in a video released last week.

"You have a giant robot; we have a giant robot—we have a duty to the science fiction lovers of this world to fight them to the death," text accompanying the video reads.

The MegaBots, Inc. spokesmen touted their Mark II design, which they claim is "America’s first fully-functional giant piloted robot."

"Because we’re American we added really big guns," the spokesmen added, hyping the Mark II’s formidable arsenal, which fires "three pound paint cannonballs at speeds of over 100 miles per hour."

Suidobashi Heavy Industries accepted the American challenge on Sunday, the same day the American women’s soccer team embarrassed its Japanese competition.

The gluttons for punishment at Suidobashi could not resist directing a few jabs at the American robot warriors.

"My reaction?" asked Suidobashi CEO Kogoro Kurata. "Come on guys, make it cooler."

"Just building something huge and sticking guns on it," Kurata continued. "It’s super-American."

Presumably Kurata meant that compliment as an insult.

It is yet unknown whether the Mark II giant fighting robot will take on multiple Japanese giant fighting robots to level the playing field.

Published under: Japan , Sports