Week 5 NFL Picks, With Emily Ratajkowski

A dejected Emily Ratajkowski / Instagram

A dejected Emily Ratajkowski / Instagram

Things could be different. The Mets were eliminated in brutal fashion, the Jets look awful, and watching the presidential election has been beyond intolerable.

I blame Emily Ratajkowski, at least for the latter.

She had the power to change everything before the DNC unjustly secured the nomination for Hillary Clinton.

"If Bernie Sanders wants to beat Hillary, he needs to get this woman involved in the campaign NOW," the Free Beacon wrote back in December 2015.

To be fair, it is not entirely clear who shot down the idea of giving Emily a prominent role in the Sanders campaign or announcing during the primary process that she would be veep.

It is clear, however, that it didn't happen, and that is problematic for me.

I think everybody agrees that this election would be more enjoyable with a lot less Hillary Clinton and a lot more Emily Ratajkowski and Larry David.

Here are my eight NFL picks for the week, along with pictures of the secret weapon Bernie never used:

Tennessee Titans AT Miami Dolphins

Pick: Titans +3.5

Mood

A video posted by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on

Hard to deny that the above video could have swung at least one state.

Washington Redskins AT Baltimore Ravens

Pick: Redskins +4

A photo posted by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on

A photo posted by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on

New York Jets AT Pittsburgh Steelers

Pick: Jets +7

A video posted by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on

Here she is channeling Vladimir Putin, who, by the way, is inarguably a stronger leader than Barack Obama.

Chicago Bears AT Indianapolis Colts

Pick: Colts -4.5

Quick break from my overall point about Emily Ratajkowski to say that last week's pathetic loss by Figgy from Survivor's Colts was likely a fluke.

The game last week was in London and started at 8 in the morning in Nashville. The girl has been in the jungle for months. How can she be expected to give it her all? Going to give it another shot.

Buffalo Bills AT Los Angeles Rams

Pick: Rams -2

A photo posted by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on

The country is ready to move on from pant suits.

A photo posted by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on

San Diego Chargers AT Oakland Raiders

Pick: Chargers +3.5

Leaving @Target event the other night ✨ @targetstyle #targetstyle #targetsponsored

A photo posted by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on

Hillary Clinton wears $12,000 jackets and looks ridiculous. Emily looks great in clothes from Target.

A photo posted by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on

Cincinatti Bengals AT Dallas Cowboys

Pick: Cowboys +1

✌🏽️

A photo posted by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on

New York Giants AT Green Bay Packers

Pick: Packers -7

 

A photo posted by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on

This year could have been something special.

Looking at you, Bernie.

A photo posted by Emily Ratajkowski (@emrata) on