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Valerie Jarrett for President

Hillary Clinton's campaign is in such bad shape that some Democrats are begging for Joe Biden to enter the race. But maybe Biden isn't the savior the Democratic Party needs right now. Maybe there's a better option, a consensus candidate that Democrats could unite behind. That candidate is Valerie Jarrett, senior White House aide and de facto President of the United States. The Cheney to Obama's Bush, if you will.

Jarrett is such a perfect amalgamation of Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, and Barack Obama, it's somewhat baffling that Democrats have made no effort to draft her for 2016. Consider her credentials:

Jarrett has all of Hillary's positive attributes (female gender, experience) and everything that Biden lacks (female gender, historic nature of candidacy). She is the perfect alternative, and could help inject some enthusiasm into an otherwise pathetic Democratic field.

Jarrett 2016