Ukraine Bans Steven Seagal

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As reported in the Guardian, actor-producer-seventh-dan-in-aikido and Russian citizen Steven Seagal has been banned for five years from entering Ukraine. According to a letter cited by the Guardian and published in Apostrophe, the Ukrainian government considered Seagal to have "committed socially dangerous actions … that contradict the interests of maintaining Ukraine’s security." Seagal happens to like Russian strongman Vladimir Putin and supported his annexation of Crimea.

The following editorial is dedicated to Steven Seagal fans.

Ukraine’s point is obviously that no one is above the law—it’s hard to kill the dream of Ukrainian independence. Democracy has been marked for death and the Ukrainians are clearly out for justice. Now Seagal might think he is under siege or on deadly ground, but for the last few years Ukraine has been under siege too—hence the executive decision to ban the glimmer man. All might seem calm right now on the streets of Kiev, but there’s a fire down below. The patriot is one who remains vigilant against a Russian invasion, even if it’s still trying to heal exit wounds from the last incursion. So Seagal shouldn’t expect a ticker-tape parade, even if he were half past dead. As far as Ukraine is concerned, he remains the foreigner.

I refuse to construct any sentences based on work that went straight to video.

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