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Stump Ted Cruz: An Exciting New Game on the Campaign Trail!

Never try to troll a troll, Ellen Page / AP
August 24, 2015

The highlight of my weekend, news-wise, had to be the release of video of actress Ellen Page ambushing Ted Cruz on the campaign trail with "tough" questions about horrible no-good very-bad absolutely terrible discrimination against gays—you know, allowing religious bakers to say "no" to catering a religious ceremony they disapprove of.

The video is pretty entertaining; you can watch it here if you haven’t seen it. Warning: You may feel a bit bad for Page by the end. Politico's transcript pretty handily captures Cruz's debate jiu-jitsu:

"Why does the Obama administration not stand against this?" Cruz said.

"I don’t know, I’d love to talk to Obama about it," Page replied

"Then we’re agreed!" Cruz shot back,

"No, no we’re not, don’t do that," the actress said.

"We’re agreed! Ma’am, we’ve had a long discussion," Cruz said.

"Yeah, I appreciate it, yeah," she said sarcastically, and walked away.

Having interviewed my fair share of actors, I’m not prone to arguing, as some of my friends on the right are, that performers should sit down and shut up because who cares about what they have to say about politics. People have opinions, and people with platforms that give them heightened visibility are perfectly free to use that visibility to get their opinions heard. Hooray, America!

That being said, it’s always vaguely amusing when someone with Big Important Thoughts tries to argue with someone who is out of their intellectual weight class. Someone probably should’ve warned Ellen Page, a noted Canadian, that Ted Cruz was going to be a rather tough nut to crack. Let’s leave aside his educational pedigree (undergrad at Princeton, law school at Harvard) and instead focus on the fact that he was a champion collegiate debater who has won multiple cases at the Supreme Court of the United States.

You can just imagine the thinking that went into Page’s little stunt, which is part of an upcoming reality TV show for Vice called "Gaycation." "Oh ho ho," she and her producers likely chuckled. "We’ll stump this doofus so hard! Bigotry is the ultimate trump card! You can’t top that. Make him defend his bigotry! We’re so smart! He’s so dumb!" Cruz turned the table with the absolute minimum of effort; by the time the video ends, Page is backtracking from agreeing with him about the need to ask the Obama administration about the evils of the Iran deal.

Cruz, of course, is running for president and polling in the middle of the pack. I’m relatively ambivalent about his chances, neither hating him as much as his detractors nor loving him as much as his biggest fans. But I can’t imagine anything that would be better for him than having an actor who considers himself to be an intellectual surprising him on the campaign trail each week in an effort to stump him. The free media potential is obvious—news networks are total suckers for celebs—and a string of such encounters would massively improve his standing with the base.

Think of the headlines!

  • This week, on Stump Ted Cruz: Matt Damon apologizes for wasting the senator’s—and the country’s—time about global warming, admitting that there are much larger problems in the world.
  • Rosie O’Donnell confesses that she has no idea what she’s talking about when it comes to gun rights and owns up to hypocrisy of hiring armed security guards: This week, on Stump Ted Cruz!
  • On a special Stump Ted Cruz, The Tedster takes down Robin: Watch Joseph Gordon-Levitt agree with the Republican frontrunner that campaign spending is protected speech under the First Amendment and that corporations are, in fact, people.
  • Lena Dunham thought she could Stump Ted Cruz about Planned Parenthood, but by the end of their half-hour chat she was calling for the abortionist’s defunding. Another victory for the Texas Senator.
  • In his toughest fight yet, Ted Cruz convinces Jane Fonda that bombing Iran is the only reasonable course of action and coaxes an apology out of her for her anti-Vietnam War stance. No one can Stump Ted Cruz!

We should thank Ellen Page for coming down from the Great White North to lecture Americans about politics. None of this would’ve been possible without her meddling.

Published under: Ted Cruz