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'The Dadly Virtues,' Available Now at an Amazon Near You

Last night I had the distinct pleasure of attending an event celebrating the release of The Dadly Virtues, a sequel to last year's hit collection of essays, The Seven Deadly Virtues. While the new collection is missing a few of the brilliant contributors that so thrilled audiences last time around—not naming any names—the newcomers (including my boss, Matthew Continetti, and Fox News' Tucker Carlson) more than pick up the slack.

If I'm being completely honest, The Dadly Virtues might actually be (a little!) better than The Deadly Virtues. It's aided by a tighter focus and a more inherently funny subject matter—namely, the absurdity of parenthood. As editor Jonathan V. Last notes in the introduction, "the primary effect of children is that they take things from you. It begins with sleep, time, and dignity and then expands over the years to include sanity, serenity, and a great deal of money." The contributors Last has assembled do an admirable job of illustrating the effect of children on both your sanity and your bank account as the years go on.

P.J. Rourke notes the civilizing effect of parenting on men in his chapter: "Fatherhood gives men something to do. If it were not for fathers, real fathers, the world outside the home would be one big cigar bar full of drunk vets with PTSD planning bank heists. And there would be—although women would deny that this is possible—even more sports-talk radio." A vision of Hell worthy of Dante. Or perhaps Larry Miller, the comedian and actor who handles religious duties for Dadly Virtues. 

As was the case the last time around, Matt Labash's contribution alone is worth the price of admission. Here he's talking about teaching his kids about sex. It went about as well as you might imagine:

The rest of what I told him is mostly a blur, except when my fear dissipated and my male vanity kicked in. If I was going to tell my son how to have sex, I might as well tell him what I wish someone had told me—how to be good at it. "Luke," I confided conspiratorially, "there's this very little, very special spot on a woman, that when the time is right, and you've found your soul mate, you should pay really close attention to. Professional anatomists call it' the little man in the boat.'"

It went on like that for a good while, until I finally punched myself out. "Do you have any questions?" I asked my son. He had only two.

"Can we be done?" he implored. "You know I think this is gross, right?"

To get a fuller sense of the joy on display in The Dadly Virtues, check out the event at AEI last night (the video is below). I believe it's airing on CSPAN at some point, but you can watch it this very instant if you so desire. Make sure to stick around for Carlson's talk; he manages to be both bro-tastic and delightfully sentimental without veering into treacle. Excellent all around. And make sure to buy the book! It's really quite good. And it would probably make a solid Father's Day gift. I know, I know, it's a few weeks away. But it'll sneak up on you. Get your shopping done today!