No real surprises at the Oscars last night, but plenty of highlights and lowlights.
LOWLIGHT: America's Sweetheart Anne Hathaway was a no-show
BOOOOO. That's what I get for making her the anchor of my Oscars column. Instead, we'll just have to admire America's Alternate Sweetheart Scarlett Johansson's striking green gown. It's not every day that an A-list actress shows up on the red carpet wearing Viper cosplay.
HIGHLIGHT: Patricia Arquette's pay equality speech
Bet you thought I'd consider this a lowlight, huh? Of course not! I'm glad that Patricia Arquette would use her time to shine a light on pay inequality, an issue that has plagued Democrats such as Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, as well as nominally progressive industries such as Hollywood. It's about time that someone stuck it to these hypocrites!
LOWLIGHT: Leaving Joan Rivers out of the death montage
I'll be honest, I didn't think much of it when people started muttering about Rivers being left out of the "In Memoriam" segment. After all, she was much more of a TV presence than a film presence. But the smart folks on Twitter reminded me of a few things.
First, her amazing turn in Spaceballs. Forgot about that one. Second, she directed Rabbit Test, which I've never heard of and has a 2.9 rating on IMDB. Most importantly, though, was the fact that she was an Oscars fixture for decades, working the red carpet and setting her snark sights on celebs big and small. Granted, this is probably why she was left out: too many hurt feelings. However, no one did more to turn the Oscars into a multi-hour, day-spanning cable TV event than Joan Rivers. She should've been in the montage.
HIGHLIGHT: NPH joking that Edward Snowden is a treasonous dog
Of course Citizenfour, a movie about a traitor, won best documentary. But host Neil Patrick Harris, in an otherwise uninspired performance, cracked the joke of the night: "The subject of Citizenfour, Edward Snowden, could not be here for some treason."
Wil Wheaton was not pleased:
Profoundly disappointed in the "for some treason" joke from NPH. Edward Snowden is a patriot, who stood up for all Americans.
— Wil Wheaton (@wilw) February 23, 2015
Captain?
Thank you.
CONFUSED-LIGHT: An extended tribute to ... The Sound of Music?
I don't understand why this was a thing. I mean, the show ran long. The show always runs long. So why stick in an extended musical tribute to a mediocre musical at 11:15, moments before we get to the awards people care about? I imagine the conversation in the producer's room going something like this:
"Okay, guys, we're already at 3.5 hours. What does the show desperately need?"
"Uh, how about a medley of songs from The Sound of Music by Lady Gaga?"
"Gold!"
"And let's make sure she wears a sleeveless gown so the whole room can see her tats."
"YES. SHE IS A LATTER-DAY JULIE ANDREWS."
[Everyone in the room does six lines of coke to celebrate]
HIGHLIGHT: The better gimmick-movie won best picture
One took 12 years to make! The other mimicked a single shot!
Seriously, though, Boyhood is terrible. Birdman is fine in that narcissistic Hollywood sort of way. If it had to be one of these two, I'm glad it was Birdman.
LOWLIGHT: Interstellar's score snubbed again
If the "Interstellar" score doesn’t win, I fear what @SonnyBunch will do.
— daveweigel (@daveweigel) February 23, 2015
My rampage will be long remembered, of this I can assure you.
Seriously, though, the fact that Interstellar didn't win best score is the biggest snub of the night. What a bunch of crap.