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New Substandard Podcast Tackles 'Arrival,' Thanksgiving, Rest Stops

November 22, 2016

I don't want to oversell it guys, but this is the best Weekly Substandard podcast yet. We discussed Arrival and alien invasion movies, Thanksgiving dishes, and, um, highway rest stops. (What is it with Jersey kids and their obsession with rest stops? I don't get it.)

The Weekly Substandard now has its own iTunes location: you can download this week's episode as well as previous episodes right here. Subscribe today! Or listen below. Or don't do either, whatever. You probably have better things to listen to.

One thing I would like to add is a proper, definitive ranking of Thanksgiving dishes. NOT RANKED: Tofurkey, because that's not a real thing. Also not ranked: desserts. They deserve their own post, probably.

10. Cranberry sauce

cranberry-sauce

Vile.

9. Plain side salad

side-salad

It's not bad or anything, just kind of pointless for this meal.

8. Corn

corn

I eat corn all year long. Again, not quite sure what this brings to the table on Turkey Day.

7. Yams/sweet potatoes

sweet-potatoes

It's a vegetable you can put marshmallows on and no one judges you for it. Tremendous upside potential with this one.

6. Stuffing (non-Stove Top)

stuffing

I don't even know what this nonsense is.

5. Rolls

rolls

Hard to go wrong with bread and butter to be quite honest.

4. Mashed potatoes/gravy

screen-shot-2016-11-22-at-2-12-53-pm

If you don't like mashed potatoes and gravy you are probably a communist. Go back to Russia, Red.

3. Turkey

turkey

The reason for the season.

2. Stuffing, Stove Top

stove-top-stuffing

Chrissy Teigen said it best:

screen-shot-2016-11-22-at-2-19-13-pm

Amen.

1. Green Bean Casserole

green-bean-casserole

The king of side dishes. Green beans and cream of mushroom, heated, with fried onions added to the top for the last ten minutes to get a nice crunch without any sogginess. My God. My mouth is literally watering just thinking about it. Gonna eat me some green bean casserole on Thursday, you better believe.