As someone who is friendly with a lot of libertarians, I've spent the last few election cycles hearing them complain about others complaining that they (the libertarians) are throwing away their votes.
I never thought anything like this would happen to me...
When you tell people that you're not voting for one of the two major party candidates—because they're both despicable human beings, because neither represents policy goals you can support, because you simply don't like the way their misshapen faces were put together by the cruel prankster god guiding the horror-show that is American politics 2016—you get something like Kubler-Ross spit back at you: denial, anger, etc.
My conservative friends who have decided to swallow hard and support Trump have vehemently insisted that refusing to vote for Trump is actually a vote for Clinton.
Ditto my liberal friends: A non-vote for Clinton is actually a vote for a bigoted fascist, they squeal.
This creates an odd quandary: A non-vote for Trump and Clinton is then, in effect, two votes.
But what if you're voting for a third party candidate?
That means you're really casting three ballots.
Zero votes magically become two votes; one vote, three.
Logically speaking, not voting for one of the two major party candidates is, under this rubric, tantamount to voter fraud.
I'll probably enjoy prison.
Could be worse, I s'pose: Jail'll be nicer than the camps opened up by whoever wins in a couple of weeks.