Meet Beyoncé’s Mom for $25K

Bey loves Tina so much, she's gonna bill you $25K (WENN)

Celeb auctions typically earn donors lavish gifts or once in a lifetime opportunities. Beyoncé's charity stunt has her raising $25,000 for the unforgettable experience of being a part of her style team. If even Beyoncé herself believes she’s "more powerful than my mind can even digest and understand," then you can expect she’s going to put peon donors to work helping her chew.

$25,000 doesn’t even earn you face time with Bey. That chuck of change only scores you a photo op. The President of the United States hobnobs with special interest groups for less. The buried lede here is that what you’re really paying for is a day with Creative Director of Wardrobe Tina Knowles, or "Mom."

In her laughingstock excuse for a documentary, Beyoncé revealed why she values hair extensions and panty hose at 25k:

My mother was a therapist. She was more than a hairstylist. She was a therapist. And women would come into that salon with problems. They'd express themselves, they'd get a makeover and they'd walk out new women.

It takes gall to slap such a large price tag on what amounts to a photograph, while marketing it as some sort of intimate experience. Leo DiCaprio is going to be shot into space with his auction winner. That’s quality time.