If Johnny Manziel can recruit NFL free agents as well as he can recruit denizens of the Vegas night club scene, next offseason the Cleveland Browns are going to be the 2010 Miami Heat, with Manziel in the Dwayne Wade role.
Manziel has been on tear since New Year’s Chic-Fil-A Bowl, shredding every Instasmoke’s defense just as he did to Duke’s. You cannot stop Johnny Football. You can only hope he stays out of jail.
Manziel outdid his own lofty standards this weekend, having recruited Playsmoke Dallas Nicole to a two-night contract before likely releasing her on waivers. Now if only Dallas had been in a patriotic bikini.
The week before, Manziel was seen out with journeysmoke Chantel Jefferies, whose contracts with Justin Bieber and Desean Jackson make her out to be the Jon Kitna of the nightclub market.
The only reason Johnny Football would risk a talent as questionable as Chantel would be because local Texas smoke Colleen Crowley had suffered some sort of injury. A quarterback needs all of his weapons before game day.
Manziel trained for the NFL Draft in San Diego under quarterback guru George Whitfield. While a team had not yet selected him, Manziel was busy picking up bottle service smoke Kyndal Kyaire on a practice squad contract. He has to keep his game tight, even during the off-season.
Before Manziel started signing smokes left and right, he had perhaps his finest smoke of all. Behold the envy of bros everywhere, Lauren Hanley.
Lauren is renowned throughout the Interwebs, and Manziel made no greater statement in his ability to scout talent than by flipping one college smoke for two prosmokes.
To think, Manziel arrived on the scene with college sweetsmoke Sarah Savage. In a short 18 months, he’s signing Playsmokes at regular clip.
Kids today grow up so fast.
All smoke dynasties begin with that first pick.