Drinks Associated with Holidays/Events, Ranked

In the latest mini-Substandard, JVL, Vic, and I discussed the Kentucky Derby, and I recounted a harrowing tale from a recent party that quickly devolved into a Lord of the Flies-style horror show. Mostly, though, I blathered on about Mint Juleps. And then I got to thinking: What are the best drinks associated with holidays? After the podcast (subscribe! Rate!), we'll rank them, as is our wont.

OK, from worst to best, here they are:

5. Eggnog — Christmas

I've never actually had Eggnog, but I assume it's as disgusting as this Wikimedia Commons image makes it look. My God.

4. Hurricanes — Mardi Gras

Wikimedia

Nyeh.

3. Margaritas — Cinco de Mayo

Obviously the only good margaritas are served by Chili's. I can't believe I missed the deal above: You can't find a better combo. Bummer.

2. Guinness — St. Patrick's Day

Wikimedia

I guess Guinness is the closest thing to an official drink of St. Patrick's Day? Moreso than the Irish Car Bombs (the bartenders sometimes get a bit salty when you order those), I guess. Or you could go with just straightforward "Irish Whiskey." Whatever, Guinness is pretty good.

1. Mint Julep — Kentucky Derby

Wikimedia

Tastes like America.