While the quartet of SI swim smokes was enough star power for me, for others, this year’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner lacked the spark from years past with its a dearth of "A-Listers." Word on the street was the popular kids blew off Nerd Prom because #SELFIE in Washington and Hollywood means two completely different things.
Fearing that no one would come to their precious party and desperate for publicity, the White House Correspondents' Association dialed up the blast in the glass himself, Creepy Uncle Sam, to work his slap the bag magic on Washington's finest.
Creepy Uncle Sam rolled up to the red carpet like a bawss. I almost didn't recognize my dude without his star-spangled beer bong, followed behind with a line of co-eds calling "Next!"
The low wattage of stars was evident throughout the night, given that its biggest star was the guy from Veep who plays Jonah. He titled this #SELFIE "Oh hey it's a waking nightmare. #whcd"
No, Jonah, the waking nightmare was how the night was so hard up for famous people, Andrea Mitchell was considered a "celebrity." #ThisTown
Am I the only person who craves McDonalds when he watches "Super Size Me?"
Kareem Abdul Jabbar's inquisitive look was due to meeting someone in D.C. as tall as he is. People in This Town are lucky to crack 5'11.
Chuck Schumer ducked out on Creepy Uncle Sam for fear of getting iced.
Hobnobbing with one-percenters, Creepy Uncle Sam didn't let the evening's festivities distract him from his life's mission: youth outreach.
Since the WHCA is letting in anybody in these days, if they ever need another rambunctious primate who loves to party, I know just the guy.