I think the obvious loser tonight was CNBC's moderators: Their questions were garbage, their rules non-existent, their control of the debate nil. Still, not all of them were equally bad. So allow me to rank the CNBC moderators.
1. Fake Louis CK
The least manic of the questioners with the best interrogations, Jim Cramer was the best.
2. Rick Santelli
Slightly more manic, but smarter, with no dumb gotchas.
3. Sharon Epperson
I literally cannot remember a question she asked, which makes her better than the next three.
4. Becky Quick
Slightly annoying, but not nearly as bad as the next two in part because she didn't push the issue when the candidates pointed out that the questions being thrown at them were hot garb.
5. Carl Quintanilla
Asked the single dumbest question of the debate when he suggested the candidates reveal their biggest weakness. People who ask this question in job interviews should be shot. The answers are the original humblebrag. Delete your account.
6. John Harwood
My God. You couldn't have been worse. In fact, you were so bad at being a hack you made everyone else look better in comparison. Rubio made you his property when he pointed out that your work is riddled with errors. Cruz made you and your compatriots look like idiots when he went Hurricane Ted on your behinds. You got more boos than anyone onstage. You should be embarrassed. Please reconsider your life choices.