SEVASTOPOL, Ukraine Russia—On Wednesday, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D., Nev.) suggested that Republicans were responsible for the Russian invasion and subsequent annexation of Crimea.
It seems that Reid’s comments were a ruse, however, because the Free Beacon has exclusively learned that the Senate majority leader is a Kremlin operative and occasional sparring partner of Russian president Vladimir Putin.*
Sources indicate that Reid personally planned and took part in the invasion of Crimea, and may be preparing to defect to Russia in the coming weeks. Prior to the military action in Crimea, evidence suggests that Reid flew to Ukraine and joined the ranks of the notorious Berkut riot police at the height of the anti-government protests in Kiev, where he took part in violent clashes with protestors.
The bombshell revelations were confirmed by dozens of senior Russian intelligence officials, who requested anonymity out of fear of execution. In addition, a number of corroborating documents and photos were exclusively provided to the Free Beacon by American fugitive Edward Snowden.
It is unclear how long Reid has served under his communist overlords, but sources believe Reid's allegiance to the Soviet Union may date back to the 1950s.
Free Beacon sources have also shed new light on Reid's relationship with the un-American industrialists Charles and David Koch. Internal emails reveal how Reid, despite his bombastic anti-Koch rhetoric, maintains close business ties to the Koch brothers and may have orchestrated the Russian invasion of Crimea at their behest in order to drive up oil prices. Reid is reportedly considering dropping a controversial provision to reform the International Monetary Fund from a pending aide package to Ukraine because David Koch told him to do so.
What else is Harry Reid hiding?
*Not really, this is fake. Obviously.